• So today i was arguing with my mom about this dog, stackhouse.
  • Gage:
  • I don't really want a dog because I feel they're a hassle to take care of. They're always begging and he already marked my couch as his territory twice. Who am i to take care of something else, even a dog when I have trouble taking care of myself?
  • Gages Mom:
  • "You need to bond with something."
  • Gage:
  • "I bond with plenty of things i have plants that I water a few times a week and some friends on the side."
  • Gages Mom:
  • "You're just scared."
  • Gage:
  • "Of?"
  • Gages Mom:
  • "Of getting close to something! Just like with all your girlfriends! You suddenly feel yourself bonding with someone and you break up with them!"
  • Gage:
  • "Whoa, where did that come from? We're talking about a dog here, not my love life." I replied. "Besides, there was only one girl I broke up with for that reason, all the others were psycho girls who either wouldn't leave my house or tried to rape me."
  • By this point I don't think my mother is listening.
  • Gages Mom:
  • "I suppose it's my fault- I blame your father-"
  • I cut her off.
  • Gage:
  • "Mom, it's just a dog."
  • Gages Mom:
  • "Animals don't have voices we have to speak for them. I think I missed my true calling as a veterinarian."
  • Gage:
  • Apposed to saving human lives, everyday as a paramedic?"
  • Gages Mom:
  • "Well..."
  • Gage:
  • "I'm going home and I'm finding him a new home."
  • That's a good choice, those Dachshunds tend to go neurotic if you're not around them 24 hours a day.