In honor of the Bard’s 445th birthday, here are a few suggestions:
- Instead of you, say thou. Instead of y’all, say thee.
- Rhymed couplets are all the rage.
- Men are Sirrah, ladies are Mistress, and your friends are all called Cousins.
- Instead of cursing, try calling your tormentors jackanapes or canker-blossons or poisonous bunch-back’d toads.
- Don’t waste time saying “it,” just use the letter “t” (‘tis, t’will, I’ll do’t).
- Verse for lovers, prose for ruffians, and songs for clowns.
- When in doubt, add the letters “eth” to the end of verbs (he runneth, he trippeth, he falleth).
- To add weight to your opinions, try starting them with methinks, mayhaps, in sooth, or wherefore.
- When wooing ladies: try comparing her to a summer’s day. If that fails, say, “Get thee to a nunnery!”
- When wooing lads: try dressing up like a man. If that fails, throw him in the Tower, banish his friends and claim the throne.
(via)
Hell yeah!
Uh… No. As an English Major I’m appalled.
